The Most Infamous Coats In The History Of Mankind.

This story is just plain weird, and i (honestly) have no recollection of when, why or where i wrote it. Nowadays i call it a tribute to Doctor Who, but that's just an excuse.


“Oh don't be daft,” said the old coat in the wardrobe, “you've never been to Narnia, you haven't been outside this wardrobe since the beginning of the 80's when you were still in fashion.” The other coat didn't answer, she hated it when others tried to make her look stupid.
“Well, don't just hang there, say something, defend yourself you silly rain coat.”
“I'm not a rain coat!” It wasn't the best comeback of the year, but not to bad considering it came from a inanimate piece of fur that technically had been dead for the last 27 years.
“Am too!”
“Am not!”
“Am too!”
“Oh stuff it you two, even if there was a Narnia in here somewhere you wouldn't have been there.” An old, black leather jacket spoke up, his voice slightly cracked, just like the leather.
“Wadda you mean by that?"
“Well, only children are allowed to enter Narnia, everyone knows that.”
“So?”
“Ah well you see, you are a big fur coat. Far to large to fit on a small child. They would simply stumble and fall if they tried to walk around while wearing you.”

Silence occurred.

“You know, he's got a point.”
“Shut up.”
“It's true, you're too big.”
“Hmpf.”
“Excellent comeback.”

Leather jacket speaks up again.

“Now be nice to her, it's only natural that she wants to feel interesting. After all, it isn't all that exiting to be a fur coat. They're awfully out of fashion these days.”
The fur coat feels a mixture of gratitude and embarrassment, so she decides to turn the spotlight elsewhere.
“So, leather jacket eh. Whereabouts are you from then?”
The leather jacket is quiet for a while, he looks like a jacket who has a lot on his mind. Not very different from usual though, a jacket is a jacket.

“I, er, was left here a while back a go. By a man. He had to, i mean, he wouldn't have left me if he didn't have to. But he was busy saving the world.”
The fur coat snorted and whispered a bit to loudly,
“Now see who's seeking attention by telling stupid lies. 'saving the world', blimey, he's a nutter.”
“No it's true, this really is true. You won't believe the things I've seen, the coat racks and chairs I've been hanging on!”

Doubting silence enters the wardrobe.

“Nah, sorry mate, don't believe you.” The other coat speaks up, he's been silent for a while now, and feel like it's his turn to say something clever.
“If he was busy saving the world, how come did he have the time to hang you up inside a nice wardrobe like this?”
The leather jacket is silent for a while, but just to build up the tension.
“He's got a time machine, so taking time is part of his business.”
“Yeah, right. And I'm a pair of trousers.”
“It's true, he really is a hero with a time machine!”
“So, how come i haven't heard of him then?”
“Well, maybe because you've spent the last two decades in here doing nothing?”
“Shut up.”
“Shut up.”
“Did he have a name then?”
“Who?”
“The hero you used to hang around on?”
“Yeah, or not really. He called himself the doctor.”
"Doctor who?"
"No, just the doctor."

“....”

“But he isn't like a doctor with a stethoscope or anything.”
“You can't be a doctor and not have a stethoscope.”
“Well, he has a screwdriver.”
“That's no good, is it?”
“it's sonic.”
“Ah, sonic. That explains it.”
“Explains what?”
“Um, dunno really, just making conversation.”
“Whatever.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Bugger off.”


R.